It's a Win

Sexy Rexy Report: Hell yeah, it feels good to put up a Sexy Rexy Report again. Brian Griese got injured late in the first half and Grossman was put in. He went 7 of 14 for 142 yards and a TD to win the game. I'm glad Grossman got another chance and I'm hoping that if Griese looks like shit for another game that they give Grossman another chance.

The Good: We won, and the defense played well. We'll take what we can from the defense since they have been playing rather poorly as of late.

The Bad: Cedric Benson. He has continually looked like shit this season. I'm up for having Hester put in as a running back and see if he could perform something like Minnesota's Adrian Peterson. I realize he won't be that good, but I think he would be better than Benson.

The Ugly: Grossman had two fumbles, one of which came from his first snap.

It Hurts

Griese Chicken Report: His performance this week may be enough to get the quarterback controversy started again, but this time it will involve Kyle Orton. He threw for 4 interceptions today, and only one touchdown. He went from NFC Player of the Week last week to playing like Sexy Rexy this week.

The Good: Pissed Off at Da' Bears Blog was right that getting Olsen involved in the offense is good. Otherwise there wasn't a whole lot of good to be found. The defense held Detroit to 16 points which is a lot better than their first meeting where they let them score 34 points in the 4th quarter which was enough for an NFL record.

The Bad: The offense has looked terrible for almost this entire season. Benson has looked awful. He ran for a meager 50 yards and had a 3.8 yard average. The Bears aren't being able to force turnovers this season, which was one of their biggest keys to success last year. They're also having a hard time getting Hester involved in the offense, which could be the spark the offense needs.

The Ugly: The Bears are 0-3 following a victory, meaning they don't have any back to back wins this season.

Top 5

The Bears are obviously in need of a new quarterback, and with the way they have been playing they'll get the opportunity to draft high and get a franchise quality quarterback. Chances are that they'll just go with someone who wasn't good enough to be a back up somewhere else. It seems even if the Bears do draft a quarterback in the first round he'll be a bust, like Sexy Rexy. Here's my top 5 list of college quarterbacks who should be on the Bear's top 5 list.

5. Chad Henne-Michigan-While Michigan has looked like absolute shit at the beginning of this year, it still takes skill to be a 4 year starter there. Even in their 2 losses to start the season Henne had a rating of over 100 in both games and against Northwestern he threw for 3 touchdowns and no picks. He's not a running quarterback but he's a hell of a passer.

4. JD Booty-USC-He's only lost two games as a starter and each of those were by less than 4 points. The Bears can almost be sure he has skill just by the fact that he starts for USC. And as much as it pains me, they can be sure he's had quality coaching under Pete Carroll. In 4 games this season he's already thrown for 875 yards.

3. Andre Woodson-Kentucky-A beast of a quarterback at 6'5", 230 pounds, he's this years equivalent of Jamarcus Russell. He's thrown for 1,309 yards, 16 touchdowns, and only one interception which would make for a breath of fresh air in Chicago.

2. Tim Tebow-Florida-Another massive quarterback at 6'3", 235 pounds, but with the ability to run like a running back, and not in the fashion of McNabb or McNair. They get hyped up about their ability to run but generally can't. Tebow's rushed for a touchdown in every game this season. He's also thrown for 11 touchdowns with only two picks against the toughest conference, the SEC. And with the picture at the top of the page how could he not make the list?

1. Pat White-WV-Not the biggest guy on my list at 6'2", 185 pounds, but he is an elusive runner, which Chicago will need because of it's aging line. His stats aren't as good as others, 717 yards passing and 6 passing and 6 rushing touchdowns, but his rushing ability sets him apart and makes him a good fit for the Bear's offense.

Ouch

Sexy Rexy Report: 3 interceptions and no touchdowns. 15 for 32 for 195 yards. Let's compare that with the unquestionably the best quarterback in the game right now, Tom Brady (doesn't have the highest stats in the league, but is going to win another Super Bowl). Brady was 23 for 29 for 311 yards. There is a quite a bit of speculation that Sexy Rexy will lose his job, but I'll venture to say that he will start next week.



The Good: Urlacher had two sacks. Oh, and it looks like we're going to be getting a high draft pick this year.



The Bad: Grossman, but that's a given. The Cowboys put up over 400 yards of offense. The Bear's defense is better than that, but they are on the field way too often. They also didn't force turnovers. Hester looked totally lost out there returning the ball.



The Ugly: Injuries. Tommie Haris, Lance Briggs, and Nate Vasher all left the game injured. It hasn't been reported whether they will be available to play on Sunday. Anyways, most people are hoping Griese gets to start this week. That might fix us for a little while, but he isn't the quarterback we need. I don't believe we have the quarterback we need. None of them are the caliber of quarterback you want to base a franchise around.

Flashes of Brilliance

Occasionally the Bears management will make flashes of brilliance, but that's only occasionally. They don't generally make the best decision with their first round draft pick, but here is my list of their best first round draft picks.



5. Mike Ditka - TE drafted in 1961. Revolutionized the tight end position from a blocker to a receiver. In his first season with the Bears he had 56 receptions, which was unheard of for a tight end at that time and is still impressive by today's standards. He was inducted into the hall of fame in 1988, the first tight end ever. He was also the coach of the 1985 Bears who won the Super Bowl.



4. Brian Urlacher - LB drafted in 2000. Not only the best line backer in the league, the best defensive player in the league. Won Defensive Rookie of the Year Award in 2000, and the Defensive Player of the Year Award in 2005. He is often considered over rated, but these claims are baseless. Just ask TO. Urlacher made TO his bitch after TO caught a pass but then fumbled it because he saw Urlacher coming across the middle to fuck him up. Also, on a Monday night in 2006, Urlacher had 18 total tackles and stripped the ball from Edgerrin James setting the Bears up to score and win the game, inspiring this memorable meltdown.



3. Jim McMahon - QB drafted 1982. Cocky badass from BYU. Quarterback of the 1985 Super Bowl Champion Bears. He threw for over 18,000 yards during his NFL career. He was the NFC Offensive Rookie of the Year. In his first public event with the Bears, he came out with a beer in his hand. He was in constant conflict with the commissioner Pete Rozelle about his headbands.



2. Dick Butkus - LB drafted in 1965. Scarred the shit out of everyone, players, coaches, refs. No one fucked with him. As a rookie he led the team in tackles, interceptions, forced fumbles, and fumble recoveries. Sports Illustrated named him "The Most Feared Man in the Game" in 1970.



1. Rex Grossman - QB drafted in 2003. Just kidding.



1. Walter Payton - RB drafted in 1975. The greatest running ever. Running backs today have wet dreams about running the ball like Sweetness. During his career he amassed 16726 yards rushing and 110 touchdowns. He was a classy fucker too. When President Reagan called him to congratulate him on breaking Jim Brown's rushing record, he thanked him and told him to give his best to Nancy.

Bears vs Chiefs

Sexy Rexy Report: Looked terrible last week, we can only hope he has one of his good games this week. The Chief's defense allowed the Texans to score 20 points. Maybe Rex can at least lead his offense to score this time. I'm not calling for his replacement by Griese because I don't believe Griese is that good of a quarterback. I'm calling for them to get rid of Orton and give Leak a chance.

Key Matchup: Bear's Linebackers vs LJ
After the Bears completely LT, I'm hoping they can do the same with LJ. LJ only had 43 yards against the Texans, but he did that on 10 carries giving him a 4.3 yards per rush which is pretty decent. I don't really see Kansas City's passing game as much of a threat, considering Damon Huard had a worse game last week then Grossman did (hard to believe, I know).

Other News: It seems Ron Rivera is running his mouth about Grossman, but when called out on it he denies it. The funny thing is that it's Rivera's own linebackers who are telling people Rivera is talking shit. Rivera was a Bears coach before this season, and is now a coach for the Chargers. Somebody needs to get their story straight.

Well Damn

Sexy Rexy Report: Rex looked bad. San Diego's running back, LT, had more touchdown passes than did Rex, and LT only had one. On the plus side, Rex only threw one interception and he didn’t fumble a snap and lose the ball. People complain that he is inconsistent, but I don't agree with that. I would say he is consistent, consistently bad. He will have some good games, but that’s not enough. Rex is the opposite of Super Bowl quarterbacks; they have a few bad games, Rex has a few good games. The Bears can't win a Super Bowl with Rex, unless the defense performs at an unheard of level.



The Good: The defense made LT look like a high school level running back. Last year's MVP ran for 25 yards on 17 carries. Tommie Harris was quicker than he has ever been. He even made it across the line before the center could snap the ball and caused a fumble. The defense looked the best that they had in several games. The problem was that the offense couldn't keep the ball long enough to give the defense a break, or even move the ball enough to give San Diego poor field position.



The Bad: Where to start? Grossman was bad, and the running game was abysmal. Letting Thomas Jones go was the dumbest fucking thing I've ever seen the Bear's management do. In 2005 he rushed for 1335 yards, and in 2006 he rushed for 1210. The only reason he had less yards in 2006 was because they were trying to get Cedric Benson carries, and the reason Thomas Jones is gone now is because Benson was drafted 4th overall in the 2005 draft. Instead of swallowing their pride, the management decides to get rid of the better running back and show case their prized pick. Anyways, the only bright spot for the offense was the offensive line. I would rank them right behind the Patriots line as second best in the NFL. We can only hope Olsen helps as much as he is promised to. It was just nice to see the Bear's draft an offensive player in the first round of the draft. Devin Hester not getting the ball much also didn't help.



The Ugly: Mike Brown's tendons are apparently made of old rubber bands. He is now out for the season for the fourth straight year. He had an interception and a fumble recovery before he got hurt. He's one of the best defensive backs in the league when he's on the field, but now his vacant spot will be filled by the average Danieal Manning. Also, defensive tackle Dusty Dvoracek is out for the season with the same injury. He sustained that injury with out being touched. At least when the opposing team hurts a player you can be angry with them.

Bears Vs. Chargers Preview

Sexy Rexy Report: If Rex Grossman doesn't choke, then the Bears have a decent chance at winning, but that's a big if. Last season, the idea of good Rex or bad Rex came about. He seemed bipolar. 27 touchdown passes which was good for 7th best in the league, but coughing up 30 turnovers is just excessive. Even if Rex plays well he won't have a cake walk. The Chargers led the league last year with 61 sacks. I hope Rex has learned how to hold on to the ball after dropping it 7 times last season, but from the only preseason game I caught it didn't look like it. Maybe Tom Coughlin could come over and fix Rex like he did Tiki Barber, either way we wouldn't have any more problems out of Rex...


Key Matchup: Chicago's Linebackers vs. LaDainian Tomlinson
We've all seen the commercial where LT runs all over the Bear's defense. There's a big difference between the defense in the commercial and the real defense. Is it that the players in the commercial all had bikini waxes so they look good in HD? Hardly. The defense in the commercial isn't recognizable. Where is Brian Urlacher, Hunter Hillenmeyer, or even the Lindsay Lohan like Lance Briggs? I never saw any of them. This should turn out to be one of the best linebacker-running back competitions we will see all year. The linebackers will have their hands full trying to stop last year's MVP, but in the end they will scrape by. Of course if LT acts like TO did when he played for the 49er's and gets scared when he sees Urlacher (anyone else remember that?), the game might not be that close.


Other News: Greg Olsen has a sprained knee, but the team is hopeful because as Lovie Smith said "the smile is coming back on his face." Well that’s just fantastic. Medical attention? Nah, Lovie just goes by the smile on their face. Rex is usually smiling; maybe that’s why he gets to play. I’m interested to see if Chris Leak can compete in the NFL. Oh that's right; he isn't even listed on the Bear's roster. He only destroyed Ohio State last year to win a national championship. Winning that doesn't guarantee success in the NFL, but he should at least get a shot. In a completely unrelated side note, I went to the same high school as Brad Maynard, the Bear's Punter.